Our Favorite Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander Literary Heroes

Celebrating AA & NH/PI Month

Happy AA & NH/PI Month! From the sailors who arrived in America on the first trans-Pacific ships in the 1500s to the activists organizing against Asian hate today, Asian Americans, Native Hawaiians, and Pacific Islanders have a rich, varied, sometimes painful, and always complex history in the United States. However, that history is often neglected or reduced to a singular, overly simplistic experience. We at Private Prep believe that it’s important to recognize that the AA & NH/PI experience is not a monolith, and we also believe that reading can be a powerful tool in cultivating empathy and awareness.

To celebrate AA & NH/PI Month, we’ve collected seven of our favorite books by seven Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander authors.

Ling Ma, Severance

AA & NH/PI Month (Ling Ma)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ling Ma is a Chinese American novelist and assistant professor at the University of Chicago. Often describing herself as “from Fujian, Utah, and Kansas”, Ma draws inspiration for her novels from a variety of sources: the work of Kafka, the 90s/00s blogosphere, contemporary art, and reality TV, to name a few. Ma wrote her first novel when she was laid off from her job as a fact-checker for Playboy; she calls the unemployment checks she received in the following months her “arts fellowship”, as that period of unemployment allowed her to dive headfirst into writing. She then pursued her MFA in Creative Writing at Cornell and is now the recipient of dozens of highly coveted literary awards.

ABOUT THE BOOK: Severance is a dystopian novel that frankly defies description. Part zombie plague novel, part biting indictment of late-stage capitalism, part first-generation immigration story, part coming of age novel, and part corporate satire, Severance follows Candace Chen, an unfulfilled Bible product coordinator, before and after an incurable infection slowly obliterates global civilization.


Celestine Hitiura Vaite, Frangipani

 

 

 

 

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Célestine Hitiura Vaite was born in Tahiti as the daughter of a Tahitian mother and a French father who went back to his country after military service. She grew up with her large extended family in Faa’a-Tahiti, where traditional storytelling was part of everyday life and women overcame obstacles with gusto and humor. While she was pregnant with her third child in Australia, Vaite began to write for the first time out of homesickness. She has now written three critically acclaimed novels.

ABOUT THE BOOK: In this whimsical novel, Vaite introduces readers to proud “professional cleaner” Materena Mahi, one of the spunkiest women on the island of Tahiti. Frangipani follows Mahi, who is abandoned by her husband after a domestic squabble, as she raises her free-spirited and headstrong daughter. This story of love, motherhood, gossip, and growing up after 40 has charmed readers across the globe.


Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous

AA & NH/PI Month (Ocean Vuong)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ocean Vuong is a Vietnamese American poet, essayist, novelist, and professor at UMass Amherst. Born in Saigon, Vietnam and raised in Connecticut in a working class family of nail salon and factory laborers, Vuong dropped out of Business school to pursue a degree in American Literature. He subsequently received his MFA in Poetry from NYU. A recipient of a 2019 MacArthur “Genius” Grant, Vuong and his writing have been featured in The Atlantic, Harpers, The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Paris Review, and The Village Voice.

ABOUT THE BOOK: Thanks to Vuong’s background in poetry, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous is a novel packed with poetic images and ideas. The narrator is a young man in his late twenties, nicknamed Little Dog, who is composing a long letter to his Vietnamese mother. His mother still carries the burden of the Vietnam war, as does his grandmother, and Little Dog’s struggles reach not only back to the traumas of Vietnam but forward in his efforts to fit into a world that sees him as other.


T Kira Mahealani Madden, Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls

 

 

 

 

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: T Kira Mahealani Madden is a Kānaka Maoli-Chinese writer, photographer, and amateur magician living in Charleston, SC. She holds an MFA in creative writing from Sarah Lawrence College and an BA in design and literature from The New School. She is also the founding Editor-in-chief of No Tokens, a magazine of literature and art. The niece of famed shoe designer Steve Madden and the daughter of parents who struggled with addiction, T Kira Madden often draws inspiration from her own experiences growing up as a queer biracial teen in Boca Roton, Florida.

ABOUT THE BOOK: T Kira Madden’s debut memoir is about coming of age and reckoning with queer desire. As a child, Madden lived a life of extravagance, from her exclusive private school to her equestrian trophies. But as the only child of parents continually battling drug and alcohol addictions, and facing a culture of assault and objectification, Madden she found lifelines in the desperately loving friendships of fatherless girls. Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls is equal parts eulogy and love letter, about families of blood and families found.


Viet Thanh Nguyen, The Sympathizer

 

 

 

 

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Viet Thanh Nguyen was born in Ban Mê Thuột, Viet Nam. He came to the United States as a refugee in 1975 with his family and was initially settled in a camp for Vietnamese refugees. Seeking better economic opportunities, his parents moved to San Jose, California, and opened one of the first Vietnamese grocery stores in the city. Now a literary star and an advocate for displaced peoples all over the world, Nguyen is a professor at USC, an acclaimed novelist, a recipient of Guggenheim and MacArthur Fellowships, and an activist in the Vietnamese diaspora community.

ABOUT THE BOOK: A gripping spy novel, an exploration of extreme politics, and a moving love story, The Sympathizer is set during and just after the war in Vietnam and is told in the form of a forced confession written by a spy for the North Vietnamese who worked undercover as an aid to a South Vietnamese general. It appears that part of his crime is sympathizing with the suffering on both sides. Published 40 years to the month after the fall of Saigon, The Sympathizer received the Pulitzer Prize in 2016.


Jhumpa Lahiri, The Namesake

AA & NH/PI Month (Jhumpa Lahiri)

 

 

 

 

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Nilanjana Sudeshna “Jhumpa” Lahiri was born in London to Bengali parents and then raised in the United States. She is the author of four books in both English and Italian, a recipient of the Pulitzer Prize, and a professor at Princeton University. Lahiri is known for depicting the everyday lives of (often middle-class) Asian-American immigrants with compassionate scrutiny and moral complexity.

ABOUT THE BOOK: The Namesake narrates three decades of the lives of Ashoke and Ashima Ganguly as they leave India and settle down in Cambridge, Massachusetts in the 1960’s. This poignant treatment of the immigrant experience is also an elegantly told family saga with universal themes of love, of the profound relationship between a father and a son, of teenage angst, of feeling pulled by different worlds yet not completely belonging to either, and of the unpredictability of life.


Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

 

 

 

 

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Hanya Yanagihara grew up in Honolulu, the daughter of a doctor who did research on mouse immunology and a mother who practiced needlework, quilting, and other crafts. Her father, a third-generation Hawaiian resident, was of Japanese descent; her mother is Korean American. In addition to writing a series of wildly popular novels, Yanagihara is the editor-in-chief of T, the style supplement to the New York Times, which publishes articles and photo-essays about fashion, travel, art, and design.

ABOUT THE BOOK: Written over the course of a mere 18 months, Yanagihara’s 800-page epic A Little Life depicts the everyday experience of living with trauma, chronic pain, and disability. Set in the present, A Little Life is about four young men – friends from the same college – who move to New York to chase big careers. Over the course of the novel, it comes to focus on one of these men, Jude, who has a mysterious traumatic history. A Little Life is the perfect chronicle of our age of anxiety, providing all its attendant dramas as well as its solaces: friendship, drugs, travel, love affairs and interior design.


Reading can’t solve all of the prejudice in the world (we wish it could!), but it can be a direct way to support AA & NH/PI authors and learn more about their experiences and histories through storytelling. If you’re interested in any of these books for AA & NH/PI Month (or just for fun!), consider purchasing them from an AA & NH/PI owned bookstore. If you’re interested in more book recommendations, check out this list of our staff’s favorite books.

Our Finals Strategy Guide

How to build and execute a personalized study plan

Getting started early on studying for finals or other big tests will help you avoid the stress of last-minute cramming. It’s a well-documented fact that we need to be exposed to an idea a number of times before we can truly internalize it. For instance, it can sometimes take up to 40 exposures to a new word before we can successfully integrate it into our vocabulary. So the earlier you begin exposing yourself to test material, the better it will sink in before the big exam. Here’s how to effectively prepare for finals — introducing our finals strategy guide!

1. Make a plan

Many students are put off by studying because it feels never-ending; don’t let that be you! Make a study plan starting anywhere from two weeks to four days before your finals. Decide which of the following strategies to use, how long you will spend on studying each day, and set a goal for each session.  

      • Reorganize and synthesize your notes from class.
      • Use flashcards, highlighters, and other tools to focus on key concepts. 
      • Have a friend come over and quiz you on key topics.


2. Mix it up

Plan short study sessions for multiple subjects in one night. Ideally, the plan for each test will involve four or more 30-minute study sessions, but this tactic can help you approach each subject with fresh eyes. Use varied strategies to study the same information. For example:

      • Study session 1: Color-code your notes.
      • Study session 2: Re-organize your notes.
      • Study session 3: Create a study guide.
      • Study session 4: Have someone quiz you using your study guide.


3. Get Active

The more you activate various areas of your brain, the more likely you are to really learn information. To that end, bring movement into your studying whenever possible.  

      • Put a cheat sheet on your bathroom mirror and look over it while you brush your teeth.
      • Put post-its throughout the house so that you see them while you go through your day.
      • Get these giant post-its and physically organize information on a full wall.
      • Take a walk while you teach someone else what you’re learning.


4. Prioritize and organize

Arranging information as you go in a clear way can help you focus on what’s really important. Our favorite system for studying starts with the first day of a unit:

      • Day 1: Read over your notes and identify any ideas that you don’t understand. Then take action by emailing a teacher, asking a tutor, or finding a video to explain.
      • Day 2: Annotate your notes from Day 1; highlight, underline, or add symbols to help you synthesize key concepts.  
      • End of the week: Look back over all of your annotations and make a one-page summary of the most important ideas for the week.
      • Repeat every day and every week. 


5. Reward yourself

Studying doesn’t have to be a pure slog. Research shows that giving your mind regular breaks allows it to better master information. So, make sure to schedule in constructive rest at regular intervals throughout your studying.

      • Plan social events with your friends once you’re all done. Get together and celebrate all your hard work.
      • Take it easy the night before the test. The whole point of planning is to avoid cramming. If you’ve done it right, you should be able to relax the night before the test. There’s nothing wrong with some low-impact reviewing (like looking at flash cards), but the bulk of the work should be complete at this point.

Procrastination plagues us all at some time or other. However a little bit of strategic planning can take what often feels insurmountable and break it into small, accomplishable pieces. If you need more tips or strategies don’t hesitate to contact us. Good luck on finals, and remember: break’s almost here.

 

Finals Prep Starts with These 3 Steps

How planning ahead can help you cut cramming for good

Final Exam Prep Starts With These 3 Steps

The close of the school year always comes with lots of questions, but many students can count on at least one certainty: the end of the year is crunch time. Projects and assessments are coming in one form or another, and students will need to dig deep to find the motivation to finish the year strong. So, what’s our best piece of advice to be sure you’re ready? Start preparing now.

First and foremost, plan for the inevitable. From the first day of the unit, you can likely plan on there being a unit test, even if you don’t know the exact date. So, rather than scrambling to study everything a few days before the final exam, start preparing from day one. If you don’t already have a set of on-going review habits, here are three steps to get you started:

    1. Get Clarity: Review class notes the same day you took them. As you do, identify portions of your notes that are unclear or ideas that you don’t fully understand. Then, get clarification by emailing your teacher, reaching out to a friend, asking a tutor, or checking out an online explanation. Reviewing early and clearing up questions will ensure that you’ve got the correct information from the get-go. 
    2. Prioritize Information: Get in the habit of looking over the previous day’s notes and annotating them.  Underline, highlight, or add symbols depending on your preference, but find a way to make it clear to your future self which ideas are most important. Consider circling any particularly helpful examples. Ongoing review of previously learned concepts will help keep them fresh in your mind.  
    3. Make it Your Own: Once a week, go back to all your annotated notes and summarize them in a single page. Include the vital information from the week, but put it in your own words. Include a few questions that you think your teacher might ask about the content from that week.  Pro Tip: Share this sheet with your teacher and have them confirm that they agree with your assessment of the key points. Not only will these one-pagers give you a head start on creating your subject study guide, they’ll help you find deeper understanding of the material by reviewing concepts and synthesizing the information. 

If this seems like a lot of work for one subject, think again: research shows that by engaging with new material regularly, your retention will increase by about 50 percent! That means there will be less work to do when it’s time to get ready for that test. 

Now that you’ve front loaded as much preparation as possible, add due dates to your calendar as you learn about them, and work backward. List out the steps you’ll need to complete to meet the due date and plug those into your calendar, too, starting with the last step. For instance, when writing an essay, try to have a draft finished a few days before the essay is due so that you’ll have time for revising and proofreading. With meaningful mini due dates on the calendar, you’re less likely to procrastinate and more likely to turn in your best work. 

If you need additional help fine-tuning your study strategies or planning ahead, prioritizing, and managing your time, reach out to our executive functioning team. We’re here to help. 

Looking for more end-of-the-school-year tips and tricks? Check out our blog on finals strategy for even more tailored guidance.

Protocols and Precautions for In-Person Services

Let’s Stay Healthy Together

In order to keep both students and coaches healthy, Private Prep has the following health-related policies:

  • Students and tutors/coaches should not meet in person when either party is experiencing cold or flu-like symptoms. 
  • If either party is recovering from a cold or the flu, but still has a lingering cough or is experiencing seasonal allergies, proactive communication is key. After communicating the symptoms, either party can request that the lesson move online.
  • Private Prep asks that clients and employees are as flexible as possible to move lessons online or reschedule when either party is experiencing cold and flu-like symptoms even when they occur within 24 hours of the lesson.

As always, if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to contact us

The College Admissions Checklist for Freshmen and Sophomores

How students can kickstart the college process this spring

Much of the conversation around college admissions is aimed at juniors and seniors. However, the end of the school year is always a great time for freshmen and sophomores to think about what’s to come in the college process. See below for this year’s college admissions checklist: our suggestions on what these students can do to get ahead in the coming months and beyond.

SOPHOMORES:

You’re gearing up for junior year, a critical time in the college admissions process, and so are likely starting to engage with that process in some deeper and more meaningful ways. Our advice to you as you navigate this time: keep building on your strengths!

  • When you finalize course selection for junior year, try to find that balance between rigor and potential for success. Junior year is when colleges really want to see you hitting your stride as a student, which means both continuing to do well in your courses and taking on more challenging coursework when it’s appropriate. Balance is key!
  • At the end of the school year or early summer, take SAT and ACT diagnostics; discuss the strategy and timeline for your test prep plan. It can feel great to go into the summer knowing that you’ve chosen the test that’s the best fit for you and that you have a plan in place. In a test-optional landscape, we ultimately want you to have the most choice possible in presenting your best self to colleges.
  • Consider your extracurricular life. Hopefully, by now, you’re doing some things you really care about! How might you deepen your engagement with those things as you head into junior year? Are there opportunities for leadership or perhaps for connecting with your community in meaningful ways? Just as you take on more in the classroom as a junior, think about how you can challenge yourself personally outside of the classroom. 
  • Start to explore colleges using resources like the Fiske Guide to Colleges, niche.com, and colleges’ own websites. Colleges are rolling out a lot of virtual content these days. Take advantage and follow some colleges of interest on social media to see how they talk about themselves! As you embark on your junior year, you’re trying to get to the heart of an important question: What are you looking for in your college experience?

FRESHMEN:

Don’t worry — you don’t need to be engaging in the same ways with the college search or SAT/ACT planning yet. However, there are some ways you can take this opportunity to reflect and look forward.

  • Plan ahead: Make sure you’re setting yourself up for opportunities for appropriate advanced courses later in your high school career. The transition to high school isn’t always easy. When you are making final decisions about course selection for next year, consider: in which courses did you succeed? Where might you benefit from extra help? Are you challenging yourself appropriately?
  • Reflect on your interests and passions, and consider whether you’ve had the chance yet to pursue them. Many students try a little of everything during freshman year. What did you love? What didn’t you like as much? Give yourself permission to focus on the activities that are truly meaningful to you. During this time when traditional activities may not be able to take place, it’s okay if those things look a little different. 
  • While it may feel like the ACT or SAT is looming, stay focused on building your content knowledge and skills with the classes you’re in now. Those foundations will put you in a great spot when it’s time to start thinking about test prep—usually in the spring of sophomore year at the earliest. 

As always, it’s important to make choices that are authentic to who you are and allow you to thrive, and to keep building on that as you continue through high school.

If you’d like to take advantage of this time to think ahead about the college process, reach out to our college admissions team — we can help with individualized academic, extracurricular, and testing guidance. 

Three Easy Ways to Love Yourself

Love yourself this February, or any month

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time.
Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.”
—M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled

February is a month filled with candy, flowers, hearts, and cards for those we love. But what about directing some of your positive energy inward, thinking about and taking care of ourselves in the same way we care for others?


The Self Pep Talk

We’ve all been there: a friend or family member comes to you, feeling down on themselves and you are able to flip those emotions around, turning negative feeling over to more positive thoughts. While we might be skilled at helping others work through negative emotions, many of us are unable to do the same for ourselves.

Tic-Toc Thoughts is one of the key exercises in our Performance Prep program, which delivers techniques and tools to help students manage anxiety and build confidence during the high-stakes standardized testing process and beyond. “Tics” are the negative thoughts that can feel so powerful in the moment. Our goal is to replace the “tics” with “tocs,” positive and useful thoughts to redirect your emotions. As with any new technique, it is critical to be patient and recognize it might take time to experience change.


Celebrating Small Successes

In moments when we are seeking to create positive change, it can be so challenging to feel successful when the change does not happen as quickly as we desire. Consider reframing your definition of success by breaking your task down into smaller steps. We know that planning and prioritization are essential for academic success, which is why we teach our children to break down large projects into mini-steps.  The same process—including celebrations of small accomplishments on the way to big change—brings value to emotional work. When we keep the focus only on the end goal, we end up diminishing our motivation, and motivation is what keeps us on the right path and gives us the strength to soldier on. The feeling of pride in these small celebrations creates the happiness factor that makes us want to go further towards our next achievement.


Treat Yourself

A key skill of successful people is goal-directed persistence: moving forward despite difficulties and, in fact, knowing that anything worth doing will require effort. Celebrating smaller successes may motivate you to continue on your way to a larger end goal, but it might not be beneficial for daily tasks such as homework and chores. It is first important to remember that we might not be intrinsically motivated to do tasks we find unpleasant and might need to seek an extrinsic motivator to get the task done. Being honest with ourselves about the support we need to put in place in order to move toward our goals sets us up for success even when we’re not excited about specific tasks.   

If you’re a parent or a caretaker trying to teach a child self-care and self-love: remember there is a difference between a “bribe” and an “external reward.” Parenting experts and educators suggest creating a list of reasonable rewards that are of interest to your child but also fall under “reward.” For example, “Do your test prep homework and we can go to Disneyland” versus “Do your test prep homework for the week and we can go out to your favorite ice cream shop.” The small reward can often teach students to set up self-reward systems to drive intrinsically based motivation to complete non-preferred tasks.  Another key: rewards are not acts of desperation, but rather a purposeful part of a plan for achievement.


Our Performance Prep program encourages students to practice self-care and mindfulness throughout their educational journey and our Executive Functioning coaches help students create personalized routines and systems for success. To learn more about our Performance Prep or Executive Functioning offerings, contact us

 

Make a Personal Time Budget

How a time audit can help you stay ahead of stress

How to Make a Personal Time Budget

Is your child burned out or struggling to find time to do the things they enjoy? If so, a time audit and personal time budget may help. Time audits help us organize minutes and hours in a way that aligns with our priorities. While it won’t eliminate over-stuffed schedules, it can be empowering to know that you’ve made conscious decisions about what to include in your day.  Have your child follow these steps from our executive functioning team to help them take control of their time:

Step 1: Make a Zero Balance Time Budget

Did you know there are 168 hours in a week? Here’s how to budget for those hours: Make a two-column list with everything you need and want to do in a week in the left column and your estimate of how much weekly time you realistically hope to spend on each. Add tasks (including taking time to relax) and adjust your numbers until you’ve accounted for exactly 168 hours. A few things that many of our students forget, but that are important: sleeping, eating, basic self-care (like toothbrushing and showers).  Check out our Zero Balance Time Budget sample if you need a place to start. Pro-Tip: If it feels impossible to accurately estimate the time required for certain activities, spend a few days tracking how you actually use your time and use that data to guide you.  

Step 2: Identify Categories

Now that you’ve tackled the nitty gritty, try to group similar activities into a handful of categories that will give structure to your week. This step is important to avoid creating a plan you will find impossible to keep track of or stick with. As a general rule, try to sort tasks into groups so that each category takes up 10 or more hours a week. Here are three we’ve seen used and what might fall into them:

      • Self-Care: eating, sleeping, and basic hygiene
      • For Fun: pleasure reading, time with friends, watching TV 
      • Down Time: social media (and how much time we lose to it) and the reality of unexpected tasks


Step 3: Define an Ideal Week

Now, lay out an ideal week for yourself by scheduling a full Sunday-Saturday in a way that is reflective of how you hope to spend your time. Start with anything that’s time-bound, such as school, tutoring, and sleep. Think critically: is it best for you to do homework right after school and use “For Fun” time as a reward or do you need some time to allow your batteries to recharge first?  Pro Tip: Create a color-coded visual on this website using category names instead of class names.

Step 4: Implement Flexibility

Now that you’ve got a customized schedule, use it as inspiration—but don’t feel beholden to it.  In fact, we’d recommend you make a plan to adjust this schedule after you live with it for a bit or each semester; it should evolve with you!  You can absolutely adjust from week to week (if you get a last minute invitation or cancelling “For Fun” in favor “School Work” to prepare for a big test, for instance), but this tool allows you to do that with purpose and the full awareness of how those adjustments will impact your balance.  

Doing a time audit and creating a time budget are valuable tools for time management, prioritization, and general stress management. If your child needs personalized help mastering these skills and devising structures that work for them, contact our executive functioning team. 

How Music Can Help You Study For Exams

Plus two top playlists from our test prep team

How Music Can Help You Study For Exams

Preparing for a big test is about more than just digging into the material and understanding the information. From the time you go to bed the night before until the minute you walk out of the test center, your mindset matters. That’s where music comes in. Here’s a quick overview of how music can help you study!

While music isn’t powerful enough to serve as your only studying tool (wouldn’t that be nice?), its benefits are numerous, especially when it comes to studying and creating a positive mindset. Not only is music shown to activate the reward centers in our brains, connecting studying with a sense of accomplishment and increasing motivation, according to studies, music can also help improve our ability to focus, boost our mood, and more. Classical music in particular can help you interpret and absorb new information and may boost other cognitive abilities like memorization.

Benefits aside, listening to tunes that rev you up or calm you down can be just the ticket to getting ready for an important test or exam. That’s why our Curriculum Team has created the below playlists intended to both pump you up and help you get centered. Pop on one of these playlists to get your mind in the right place while you’re commuting to the ACT or SAT, and know your tutor is pulling for you!  

Get Pumped Playlist

Deep Breaths Playlist

Of course, this approach and these tunes may not be for you—and that’s totally okay. Studying methods are often as unique as the individuals using them, so personal tastes come into play, too. And it should be noted that not everyone benefits from listening to music while studying. Knowing what does and doesn’t work for you is part of developing your own studying tool kit.

Want help identifying personal study strategies? Check out some of our resources below — or, just contact us. We’re here to help you succeed every step of the way. 

Building a Growth Mindset Through Positive Self-Talk

How positive self talk can break you out of negative thinking

Building a Growth Mindset through Positive Self-Talk

Do you talk to yourself? If so, you’re not alone. Research shows that most people talk to themselves and not only that, but self-directed talk can actually be good for you. But to reap the benefits, it’s important to remember that what you say to yourself matters.  

Positive self-talk is about more than telling yourself “you can do it!”; it’s about building a growth mindset by leveraging the power of words to lead you down the path to real change. Many of us can point to someone who made a huge difference in our lives by believing in us and cheering us on. Here are two tips from our executive functioning team on how you can be that person for yourself:

Flip the Script

Start by being mindful of how you already talk to yourself. Take note of any language that you commonly use to put yourself down and come up with an alternate statement that creates opportunities for both accountability and grace. This exercise is about digging deeper to find both an actionable item and a truth that reminds you of everything you are capable of. 

Use an Affirmation Statement

If you’re already thoughtful about how you talk to yourself, take the next step by celebrating your strengths and using them as a touchpoint when you are struggling. Start by listing some of your positive attributes, either tied to a specific area of your life or generally. Pick the three that resonate most with you and incorporate them into a statement that you can say to yourself when you need a boost. Here are a few examples that have helped our students find confidence when they need it:

      • When I take my time and reflect on the best approach, I always get it done. 
      • I invite good things by being kind, positive, and open to new ideas. 
      • I am a hard worker who knows what she wants and has a plan to get there.  

In academics, as in life, it’s important to focus on the process and on those things over which we have control. Moving toward the outcomes you want is within your abilities but anytime you allow a negative thought to take hold, you miss an opportunity for growth. Be kind to yourself and invite yourself to move through your struggles by taking action.  

Looking for help building positive self talk or holding yourself accountable? Reach out to our executive functioning team for personalized support.

5 Tips For Building Independence Before College

How to help your high schooler begin the transition to college

5 Tips For Building Independence

With a new year upon us, it’s time for high school students to start thinking about becoming college-ready. We’ve heard from many parents that at the top of the priorities list are the study skills and independence that juniors and seniors will need for college. Here are our executive functioning team’s top five tips to help your child get started:

  1. Create an Ideal Schedule: We know that nothing goes quite as planned—these days more than ever! Still, there are some things you can count on: school has a start and an end time; you’ve got to eat; there will be some homework. Make an ideal schedule for your week and include everything that’s reasonably predictable. When you do, start with the tasks that are non-negotiable, must-do’s (including sleep!). Once that exists, use it as a guide to know how much time you can afford to spend on everything else and when. In college, very little of your time is structured for you, so you’ll need to have the skills to create structure for yourself.  
  2. Plan for Long-Term Work: Most students manage their day-to-day assignments well but struggle with the larger tasks. Even before your English teacher assigns an essay or your chem teacher tells you there’s a test, you know those things are coming, so plan for them from the start. When making your ideal schedule, set aside some time each week to work on long-term assignments and review for tests. Make a habit of reviewing your notes for all of your classes at least once a week and ask your teachers any clarifying questions that come up. Build your Quizlet deck as you read your textbook or use arrow-shaped post-its to flag quotes that fit in with themes that your teacher is focusing on. After high school, your grades come almost exclusively from those long-term projects and from tests, so building strong habits now can have a significant positive impact on your transition to college.
  3. It’s More than Academics: While academics are important, they’re not all that factors into your success at college. Are there at least two reasonably healthy things you can make in a microwave or on a hot plate? Do you know how to get an absentee ballot? Make a list of the mundane tasks that you’ll need to take ownership of after graduation and learn how to do them now. There’s bound to be someone in your dorm who ends up with all pink socks because they never learned how to sort their laundry; don’t let it be you! To help you out, our team has put together a series of downloadable checklists of some of the biggest life skills students should have before heading off to college. 
  4. Manage Your Own Time: If you don’t already make your own appointments and wake yourself up in the morning, now is the time to start! We know that keeping a calendar is a drag, but worse is having to call your mom from campus to find out if you have practice on the night you want to go to the writing center. It’s much easier to begin to figure out your system for managing your schedule at home while things are reasonably familiar and your parents are around to help you out if you lose track of anything.  
  5. Reflect and Take Note: Assuming you don’t already have individualized systems for all of the above, your first attempt is bound to be less than perfect, and that’s ok. Set aside regular time to reflect on what you’ve tried and how it’s working. Take note of anything you learn so that you have a record and can learn from your mistakes. Part of being independent is persisting through multiple trials and getting to know your strengths and weaknesses. 

If your high schooler could use some more ideas or needs an accountability partner as they develop systems to help them thrive in college, our executive functioning coaches are here to help. Contact us for a free consultation.