The New Year is a time for friends, family, celebrations, and resolutions. Yet studies have shown that less than 25 percent of people actually stay committed to their New Year’s resolutions after just 30 days, and only 8 percent accomplish them. Don’t be part of that statistic.
The difference lies in the definition. Resolution is defined as “a firm decision to do or not to do something.” There is not a great deal of flexibility in that. So, instead of making a firm resolution at the start of the year, consider creating a new positive habit: “a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior.”
Let’s take one of the most common New Year’s resolutions: adopting an exercise routine. Making a resolution makes us feel as if we must create a firm plan and stick to it. If we miss a certain period of time in our new routine, we have failed at the resolution. On the flip side, if we are seeking to create a new exercise habit, it is something we feel we can begin and then return to should we fall off the routine for a bit. The nuance of that subtle difference between resolution and habit can make all the difference in our mindset.
Mindset is something we talk about frequently at Private Prep. Our Performance Prep program delivers strategies designed to help students mentally prepare for performing under pressure and is incorporated into all of our services. These skills can be, and should be, utilized to help manage the stress associated with high-stakes testing, college admissions, and general academic pressure. As you look to set attainable goals in the new year, here are six suggestions for ways to clear the noise and focus on what matters.
THE POWER OF BREATH
Breathing happens, whether we are trying or not. Taking something as simple as breathing and doing it intentionally is a great way to remind ourselves that even the smallest things can be done with purpose and care. When life is feeling a little too big or intense, turn your attention to the physical sensation of air entering and leaving your body. The goal is simple: notice where in your body you experience the sensations of expansion and relaxation. Centering on the breath helps to slow down the moment and de-clutter your mind.
Calming Breath Exercise
- Take a long, slow breath in through your nose, first filling your lower lungs, then your upper lungs.
- Hold your breath as you count to “three.”
- Exhale slowly through pursed lips, while you relax the muscles in your face, jaw, shoulders, and stomach.
- Repeat two more times.
MEDITATION
Try and ditch any preconceived thoughts you may have about meditation. It’s a simple approach to training the mind that uses awareness and perspective to achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm state (something that will come in handy before you take your next exam). Start small, aiming to meditate a few times per week. We recommend one of these apps to get started. You can start out with really short sessions (under a minute) and work your way up to longer moments of mindfulness.
- Unplug Meditation – Private Prep partnered with Unplug to develop a series of videos targeting the stress associated with test prep.
- Headspace – A wonderful app to dip your toes into the meditation pond as it guides you through the process.
- Smiling Mind – This app can be tailored to members of the family by age—even those as young as seven years old.
- Calm – Features meditation, music for relaxation, and video lessons on mindful movement and gentle stretching.
After a few weeks, take note of how you feel on days you meditate and days you do not. Is there a noticeable difference?
CONTROLLING THE CONTROLLABLES
Energy, time, decisions: all of these come in limited quantities. So why do we insist on spending so much of our time worrying about them? As stimuli come flying towards us, take a moment to consciously separate them into things we can control versus things we cannot. That to-do list will be a lot more manageable when it only contains what is up to you.
Control exercise
As you prepare for a test—practice or real—make a list of all of the factors in play on the day of (e.g., eating a good breakfast, noise level in the test room, the temperature in the test room, getting a good night’s sleep, etc) then categorize those things you can control and those you cannot.
NO JUDGMENT
Judgment is the chain of reactions to a bad or distracting thought or event that lead to follow-up thoughts that exacerbate the problem. The practice of no judgment starts by letting your feelings slide: If you get frustrated, simply acknowledge the frustration and let it go. Working to take self-judgment out of your day-to-day is a wonderful first step towards a life focused on the process, not on the results.
THE POWER OF “YET”
The powerful addition of the word “yet” stems from research by Stanford University’s Dr. Carol Dweck. Dr. Dweck’s work investigates the effect that simply thinking you can or can’t learn a skill has on your ability to actually learn it. Her studies find that maintaining a “growth mindset” (as opposed to a “fixed” belief in your abilities) keeps the brain ready to expand and take on new abilities. If you trust that dedication and hard work are the starting ingredients for a new skill, you open the doors to a boundless and joyful life of learning and accomplishment. Watch Dr. Dweck’s TED Talk to learn more about her work and “The Power of Yet.”
TECHNOLOGY FOR TIME MANAGEMENT
(Technology) + (Parents of teens) = Arguments over screen-time and contentious negotiations regarding cell phone use. But as often as the smartphone is a distraction, it can be harnessed to help students who struggle with organization, time management, and the development of productive routines. However, the use of technology for organization is not a one-size-fits-all solution: take the time to find a tech tool that works by experimenting with a few different apps. Parenting Tweens and Teens has a list of five organizational apps to check out.
If you want help finding a tool that your child is excited about, reach out to your director, who can connect you with one of our executive functioning coaches or contact us. A tutor or coach can work with your child on a personalized approach to an organized life.
